The Fairies' Toybox
by D.M.Ash
Summary: In the same vein as One-Shot Fleet by Hieda no Akyuu and One-Shot Collection by Chinorwegia, this will consist of various Kancolle ideas in the form of snippets. Some will be crossovers while others will be vanilla.
1. Mystery of the Reincarnated Shiratsuyu

Mystery of the Reincarnated Shiratsuyu-class

Hi, my name's Alisa Crawford, and I'm apparently a ship reincarnated into a human.

I wish I was joking there, but that's a fact unfortunately. What's even weirder is the fact that the ship I'm supposed to be already has a 'Ship Girl' already in existence.

Maybe a quick backstory would help first. Let's see, a few years ago at the end of 2012, mysterious beings what we now call Abyssals appeared around the world's oceans and proceeded to wreck shop on every commercial and naval asset they encountered. Seriously, it was quite annoying to hear those Mayan apocalypse weirdos screaming that their prediction was coming true. Not to mention all the conspiracy theorists popping out the woodwork about the origins of the Abyssals...

Anyway, the navies of the world tried fighting back, but those Abyssals weren't exactly conventional enemies, and simply put, the ships of today just weren't cut out to fighting them properly. Six months later, and low and behold, Japan of all places pulls something out of it's ass to turn the tide. Ship Girls, or Kanmusu in Japanese, were the moe...something-something of World War Two-era warships, essentially taking the form of cute girls using WWII naval weaponry to fight against the Abyssals.

Japan then sold the method of producing Ship Girls, some kind of ritual from what I've heard, to the other countries that could afford it, and now other countries have fielded Ship Girls, like America and Germany.

Now here's the mystery that has confused the world as the Abyssal War went on. Despite fielding numerous Ship Girls, some have still not made an appearance, or summoned as it were. Even more famous ones like Yamato for Japan and Enterprise for America have failed to show up. No one really knew the reason why they weren't showing up despite efforts from their home countries, until a certain incident in the UK shed some light on the situation.

Honestly, I wouldn't have known about the whole Abyssal-Ship Girl detail if it wasn't for my step-brother, Ren Crawford. Due to our parents...deaths at the hands of the Abyssals while they were vacationing on a cruise liner back in December 2 years ago for their wedding anniversary, my brother has kept many tabs on the Abyssal and Ship Girl situation as he could while working to support us. Not quite on the level of total obsession, but he has a bit of an urge to be 'in the know' as it were.

Back on topic, the incident in the UK was about a woman in college (who's name I can't remember at the moment), who turns out to be the reincarnation of the IJN Kongou, one of Japan's Ship Girls they haven't been able to summon. To find out about that caused something of an uproar around the world, which makes me glad I'm living in New York. I wouldn't be surprised if Japan started something of a manhunt for Ship Girls reincarnated in their population.

Anyways, my situation is a bit more problematic, as I already said the Ship Girl that I'm the reincarnation of already exists. Again, I know this due to my brother, and it annoys me that that particular Ship Girl is one of his favorites. Seriously, I think he jerks off to all the Shiratsuyu sisters...

It doesn't help that the Ship Girl and I looked kinda alike! Well, we used to before that Ship Girl had her Second Remodel. But before, we had the same long, blonde hair in a hime-cut and green eyes, though mine were a duller green.

From that description alone one could guess which Ship Girl I'm supposed to be. So I'll just come out and say it!

Fourth Shiratsuyu-class Destroyer, Yuudachi, at your service, poi!

...Urk, and I was holding back from saying 'poi' at the end of my sentences so well too... One thing I found a bit annoying about Yuudachi was that verbal tic of hers. I know it has historical reference (thank you brother~) but it kinda makes her look like she's trying to hard to be cute. And now, it's bleeding into my speech patterns. I need to get it under control else I'm gonna be seen as a Yuudachi fangirl. I already got enough flack about my appearance resembling hers before the remodel.

As to how I 'awakened', I'm not sure. It was after the UK incident that I begun to have weird dreams. At first it started of as some kind of hazy flashback about warships, but then I started dreaming about Ship Girls in what I assume is their daily life, with two other Destroyers being prominent in them, Fubuki and Mutsuki if I recall correctly...

That kept going on for a week, and it was affecting my sleep in a bad way. Ren didn't really notice as he worked late at that fancy hotel as a full time bellhop, until I literally fainted in his arms after a week of that nonsense. Ooh, I remember waking up in a hospital bed with Ren looking very worried for me. It was so embarrassing...

Ahem, well, after that, I had a sneaking suspicion about being a Ship Girl after seeing Yuudachi's pre-second remodel card on the dining room table along with the other Ship Girl trading cards. As I held that card in my hand, I couldn't help but image myself in Yuudachi's uniform and rigging when this massive headache hit me like a freight train and I fell unconscious.

I think it was an hour later that I woke up, and the first thing I saw was that the living room was in disarray, like a storm just blew through it. The next thing was feeling a certain around the back of my waist and when I looked down, I saw very familiar rigging along with a uniform that I definitely wasn't wearing before I got knocked out. The last straw was when I went into the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror in an awkward manner, due to the rigging.

The only noticeable difference in my looks were my hair being a shade lighter, a ribbon in a bow above my forehead, and my eyes became more of an emerald green. Oh god, and when I tried speaking, the first word that came out of my mouth was 'poi?'

I admit I was really close to freaking out again when the rumored fairies started popping out of my rigging, looking really concerned. Somehow, they helped me calm down and with their guidance, managed to take off my rigging before I sat down on the couch.

...Oh god, how the hell am I supposed to explain this to Ren, poi? Is he gonna treat me weirdly because I became a Ship Girl, poi? He has a healthy interest in them, but he has never met one in person like most of the civvies in America. Will he ship me off to the Navy, poi? Are we still family, poi? 'Cause my Ship Girl instincts are telling me about my nine other Shiratsuyu-class sisters, ten if you include the other Yuudachi, poi...

I...I need to calm down. The 'Poi Effect' bleeds through easier when I get worked up. ...Speaking of the Shiratsuyu-class, for some reason...I have this really strange feeling that Umikaze and Kawakaze are nearby. Could they be like me, ships reincarnated as people?

Oh no, I hear the door lock opening. Ren's home early and I still don't know what to do! Damnit, I'll just have to wing it and hope for the best, poi!

...I really need to get the 'Poi Effect under control.

* * *

 **A/N: So here's my first attempt to get back into writing. This little piece was inspired by 'A Burning Legacy' quest on the Sufficient Velocity forums, with the added idea that some summoned Ship Girls have reincarnated counterparts due to soul splitting or something. The below omake is the flipside of things, while the second omake is essentially my thoughts on three of the new Ship Girls that were released for the summer 2015 event.**

* * *

Omake: The Connection

"...Poi..."

In Yokosuka, Yuudachi gave a sigh as she sat on the pier, staring out to the ocean. Normally she was bright and cheerful, but her current state was one of thoughtfulness and calm. That's the state Fubuki and Mutsuki found her in when they went looking for her.

"Yuudachi-chan? Is everything alright?"

"Fubuki-chan, Mutsuki-chan? It's nothing really. poi..."

Yuudachi gave a sigh as she slumped slightly, looking back out to the ocean. Fubuki and Mutsuki shared a look of concern; Yuudachi definitely wasn't acting like herself. Her current attitude was something they expected out of someone like Yuudachi's ship sister Shigure.

"Umm, Yuudachi-chan. What's wrong? Do you want to talk about it?"

Taking the initiative, Fubuki sat down beside Yuudachi as she asked her questions, with Mutsuki sitting on Yuudachi's other side. Meanwhile, Yuudachi looked thoughtful for a moment before she asked a question.

"Ne, Fubuki-chan, Mutsuki-chan. Have you ever wondered what it's like to have a family, like humans?"

While Yuudachi's question sounded innocent enough, Fubuki and Mutsuki's minds immediately went to places a bit more perverse in nature. Mutsuki had an odd look on her face as she gave a hesitant reply.

"Yuudachi-chan...I think it's a bit too soon to be thinking about having children..."

"Eh? No, no, no, poi! Not like that! What I meant to say, is that I wonder what it would feel like to have parents or a brother or something, poi..."

Yuudachi's friends looked a bit confused at that wording as they tried to imagine what she just said. However all the two Ship Girls came up with was getting along with their ship sisters, something Fubuki voiced out loud.

"Um, we have ship sisters, isn't that being a family?"

"It's not really the same, poi. I do love Shiratsuyu-nee and the others, but I wonder if there's soemthing beyond that..."

Fubuki and Mutsuki looked at each other with a bit of concern. Yuudachi was usually a carefree and cheerful Ship Girl, so her being all philosophical-ish was pretty weird. At the same time, Yuudachi thought back to the dreams she was having which brought her to her current predicament.

About a week ago, Yuudachi started to have dreams of herself, yet not herself living in America. The dreams themselves were fuzzy, but one detail that stood out was a guy that she calls her brother in her dream. One that was apparently her (Yuudachi's) fan, along with the other Shiratsuyus.

Also, her english comprehension improved by leaps and bounds for some reason, though she wasn't aware of it yet.

"...Ren-nii-san..."

Unfortunately for Yuudachi, the dreams stopped a few days later, only to be replaced by a nagging feeling that something relating to her was happening somewhere else. However, she only needed to wait a few more weeks before startling news from America reached her ears.

* * *

Omake: The One Left Behind, aka The Last Unimplimented Shiratsuyu

Yamakaze: Why the hell wasn't I implimented!? Am I being hated or something!? ...Oh well, at least I'm not Hayasui; poor girl got lewd fanworks right out the door because of her name.


	2. Meet (Some of) the Ship Girls

Meet (Some of) the Ship Girls

Meet the...Destroyer Ship Girl?

*Scene opens with Akatsuki-class Destroyer Hibiki walking in, holding a minigun in her arms, before walking up to a table and putting the minigun on top. Note that she has a light flush on her face.*

Hibiki: I...am Heavy Weapons Ship Girl. And this, is my weapon...hic.

*Pats the minigun affectionately.*

Hibiki: She weighs 150 kilograms and fires a hundred Ammo, custom-tooled AP cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute. ...It cost two hundred thousand Ammo, or a hundred thousand yen, to fire this weapon, for twelve seconds, hic.

*Here, Hibiki laughs rather loudly in amusement, and her laughing didn't sound quite normal either. After that, she looks over the minigun as she rotates the barrel, until she spots something.*

Hibiki: Oh my God, who touched Sascha? Hic... **Who touched my gun!?**

*Camera moves over to the rest of the Akatsuki-class sisters, who cower in a corner while looking at Hibiki with terror. A grunt from said Ship Girl turns the camera back onto her.*

Hibiki: Some Abyssals think they can outsmart me, hmm? Maybe, *sniff* maybe. ...I've yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet.

*Suddenly an alarm goes off, signaling an Abyssal attack.*

HIbiki: Khorosho. Time for me and Sascha to show off. Come, sisters! It's time to fight!

*As HIbiki grabs the minigun and walks off, the rest of the Akatsuki sisters hesitantly follow after her, with Ikazuchi using Akatsuki as a shield. Inazuma mumbles to herself as she trembles slightly.*

Inazuma: No more vodka for Hibiki, nanodesu. Oh, why did you give that stuff to her, Kongou-san!?

*Scene switches to the waterfront, where Hibiki is shooting down Abyssal planes with her minigun.*

Hibiki: Waaaaahhhhh! Uwaaaaaaah! Ahahahahaha! Cry some more!

*The rest of the Ship Girls look at Hibiki with shock as Yuubari face-palms, while Akashi tries to look innocent for some reason.*

Hibiki: Heheh, cry some more, hic.

* * *

Meet the Engineering Ship Girl

*Scene opens up with Repair Ship Akashi sitting on a chair, playing a tune on a guitar. On a floating platform, in the middle of the ocean.*

Akashi: Hey look buddy, I'm an...Engineer. Yes, that's right. That means I solve problems.

*A cannon shell whizzes past Akashi's head, which she ignores.*

Akashi: Not problems like 'What is Beauty?' 'Cause that would fall within the purview of philosophy. Not like there's an ugly Ship Girl among us anyway...

*A couple of bullets from a prop plane wiz by Akashi's head, which she glances at the direction it came from.*

Akashi: I solve practical problems.

*Akashi reaches down and picks up a bottle of Ramune, opening it and taking a swig. At the same time, a 15.2cm Twin Gun on a tripod turns and fires off two shells, which nails an Abyssal hard.*

Random Abyssal: SKREEE!

*Akashi then puts down the bottle and resumes playing the guitar. A Kill counter beside her clicks from 35 to 36.*

Akashi: For instance... How am I gonna stop some big mean Abyssal monster from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind?

*A 61cm Quad (Oxygen) Torpedo Mount on a tripod turns around and fire a spread of torpedoes at an Abyssal light cruiser coming up from behind.*

Akashi: The answer...

*The torpedoes hit, engulfing the Abyssal in an explosion. Kill counter clicks up to 37.*

Akashi: ...Use a gun. And if that don't work...

*A 46cm Triple Gun Mount fires on a Re-class, followed by a torpedo spread from a 61cm Quint (Oxygen) Torpedo Mount.*

Akashi: ...Use more gun.

*Akashi stops playing the guitar and listens as the Re is engulfed in explosions, which she grins at.*

Re-class: My tail!

*As the Kill counter clicks up to 38, the head portion of the Re-class' tail lands in front of Akashi, and the 15.2cm turret target's the smoking head.*

Akashi: Like this 15.2cm Twin Gun, tripod-mounted, little ol' number designed by me...

*Akashi then kicks the tail off the platform, and the Twin Gun shoots it out of the air before it hits the water.*

Akashi: Built by me...

*The gun then shoots at another Abyssal. Moments later, the Kill counter goes up to 38.*

Akashi: ...And you'd best hope...not pointed at you. ...Wait, was I supposed to say that?

*The scene then zooms out to reveal a de-armed Destroyer Hime bound and gagged behind Akashi, surrounded by various Gun Mounts, AA, and Torpedo Mounts on tripods, shooting at Abyssals as a fleet of Shiratsuyu-class Ship Girls approach.*

* * *

Meet the Torpedo Cruiser Ship Girl

*Scene opens with Torpedo Cruiser Kiso jumping away from an Installation-type Princess after shoving torpedoes down her throat, ending in an explosion.*

Kiso: What makes me a good Torpedo Cruiser?

*Scene then switches to Kiso sitting in the Naval Base's Arsenal, the Torpedo storage room to be exact.*

Kiso: If I were a bad Torpedo Cruiser, I wouldn't be sittin' here, discussin' it with you now would I!?

*Another scene pops up, showing Kiso in a fleet with five other Ship Girls, facing an Abyssal Fleet.*

Kiso: Let's do it!

*With that battlecry, the fleet charges forward, shells and torpedoes being shot off.*

Kiso: Not one of ya's gonna' survive this!

*Scene cuts back to the torpedo room.*

Kiso: One perfect launch, one Type 93 torpedo, one errant collision, and kaboom!

*After that, Kiso takes out a rather large bottle of Ramune and starts chugging it down. A few more battle scenes show, with the ending scene being of the Light Cruiser Princess being beaned in the head by one of what looks like Yuudachi's torpedoes. Back at the Arsenal, Kiso slams down the now empty bottle of Ramune, breathing heavily.*

Kiso: I got a manky eye. I'm a hot, Japanese cyclops. They've got more f-(beeep)-s than they've got the likes of me.

*Kiso starts to drink from the empty Ramune bottle, but instead stares at the camera with a look in her eye.*

Kiso: So... T'all you fine Abyssal dandies so proud, so cocksure, driftin' aboot with your heads full of steel! Come and get me I say! I'll be waiting on ya with a whiff of the 'ol torpedo. I'm a grim bloody haiku...with an unhappy bloody end!

*Scene switches to Kiso leading a number of Abyssals to an island chain with a chokepoint. Then before the enemy fleet squeezes through, Kiso fires of numerous torpedo spreads at the Abyssals, which nails them all in fiery explosions. Kiso then approaches her handiwork, and gives a grin at one of the sinking destroyers.*

Kiso: Oh, they're gonna have weld you back together...in hell!

* * *

Meet the Fastest Ship Girl

*Scene opens up to two fleets of destroyers looking at an Abyssal supply base from behind some rocks. The leader of the first fleet, Shimakaze, motions with hand-signals to the leader of the second fleet, Amatsukaze. After a few moments, both fleets charge in, with Shimakaze in the lead, making hit and runs and even outrunning a Ta-class battleship before the Abyssal is nailed in the head by a shell.*

*The text 'Fastest IJN Ship Girl' pops up next, with Shimakaze walking in from the right.*

Shimakaze: Um... I don't even know where to start with you. I mean, do you even know who you're talking to?

*Cut to a scene of a unarmed Ru-class about to take a drink of Ramune, when from behind she's poked in the head by a barrel from a Rensouhou-chan Shimakaze's holding.*

Shimakaze: Yo, what's up?

*Cuts back to Shimakaze in front of text.*

Shimakaze: Do you have any idea, any idea what kind of Destroyer I am?

*Back to the Ru-class and Shimakaze, who are in a fistfight while yelling. Cuts back to Shimakaze.*

Shimakaze: Basically - kind of a big deal here!

*Back to fight. Shimakaze is trying to smother Ru-class with a Rensouhou-chan, with the turret bot looking quite uncomfortable.*

Shimakaze: *Holds up a Rensouhou-chan.* Oh man, aren't you just the cutest thing, Rensouhou-chan? Fufu!

*Cuts back to fight. Now Ru-class has Shimakaze in a headlock, with the latter elbowing the Abyssal in the gut. Back to Shimakaze.*

Shimakaze: 'Kay listening? OK. Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and sista', I hurt Abyssals.

*Back to fight. Out of nowhere, a Rensouhou-chan flies and slams the Ru-class right in the gut.

Shimakaze: I'm the Island Wind!

*Before the Ru-class could recover, another Rensouhou-chan slams headfirst into the Ru-class' head from behind, causing her to collapse.*

Shimakaze: If you were from where I was from, you'd be freakin' dead!"

*Last fight scene. Ru-class is on the ground, trying to reach for the bottle of Ramune, however Shimakaze runs up the side of a captured shipping container, jumps off and slams her third Rensouhou-chan bottom-first into the Ru-class' head.*

Shimakaze: So sloooow!

*In the end, Shimakaze sits on the twitching body of the Ru-class, drinking the Ru-class' Ramune, with the Rensouhou-chans jumping in celebration. Amatsukaze shows up a moment later, raises an eyebrow, and Shimakaze just tilts the bottle in her direction while having a smug look on her face.*

* * *

 **A/N: So this is pretty much Kancolle with Team Fortress 2 introductions. This idea first came to me while I was rewatching Meet the Team videos on youtube while having Kancolle on the brain. Also this takes inspiration from that Nanoha crossover one-shot that does the same thing here, which I can no longer seem to find lately. As for why it's in script format; writing it normally didn't feel comfortable for some reason.**

 **I couldn't think of any other Ship Girls for the other roles like Spy, even though Akashi would have made much more sense as a Medic. (Here I thought Yuubari would make an odd choice for Medic, with the line, 'And that's how I never got my re-classification as a Repair Ship,' but eh.)**

 **Oh, and about the last snippet, the main inspiration came from a picture I came across on danbooru, showing Kai Ni Yuudachi holding her pre-remodel self, drawn by the Shiratsuyu-class' artist (sans Samidare and Suzukaze), Kujou Ichiso. Also, if I do come around to it again, I'd probably make reincarnated Atago and Shimakaze sisters living in NYC too for the lols.**


End file.
